Go Back To Your First Love

August 2015

Dear Friend,

As I write this letter, I write it with the constant reminder that I want it to be an expression of what I have in my heart, and not merely a letter that comes from my head with the intent to tickle the intellect of man. I will not write this letter saying that I have made it, and that I have made no mistake. On the contrary, I believe that this letter is to be written as a testimony of my shortcoming in this particular area as you will read further.

I have been (and still am) going through what I call a period of burnout where it seems that the issues of life and serving in the church have taken its toll on my walk with God.

It is not to say that I fell behind in terms of ministry. Even as of this writing, the anointing and the flow of the Spirit has increased all the more in my life. I have been in small home meetings where we've experienced a move of the Spirit, specifically through tongues and the interpretation of tongues, and prophecy. There are times when I've been with close friends and I find myself still speaking into their lives and encouraging them to pursue God. However, I find myself missing the joy that I experienced time and again in walking with Him.

It was in the midst of this that I received the following correction:

The longevity of your walk and the fruitfulness of your life and ministry is not dependent on the works that you do or how man would look at you, but on the condition of your heart.

In this, I readily admit that I have been rebuked by God; as in the pursuit of wanting to be who I believed God called me to be; and to be a blessing to those who He placed in my life, I let my own relationship with Him falter to the point where I have been exhausted.

We can see a similar situation in the book of Revelation 2:2-5 where Jesus is speaking to the Church in Ephesus:

Revelation 2:2-5 (NKJV)

I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name's sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place; unless you repent.

The Ephesian church was considered to be a church full of zeal and fire. It was birthed in fire and revival when Paul entered Ephesus (Acts 19). It was from this church that all in Asia heard the Gospel (Acts 19:10). Revival broke out in the city of Ephesus (Acts 19:17-20). It was to this church that Paul wrote his letter with the revelation of the Church being both the Body and Bride of Christ, seated with him in the heavenlies. It was to them that the letter was written with what we call the Ephesian Prayers: (Ephesians 1:17-23, 3:14-21)

This is also the same church that was rebuked for having left her "first love" even in the midst of the great works she was doing at that point.

It is so easy to get caught up in the work of the ministry and what we perceive to be the glamour of the Christian walk that we fall into the trap of turning it into a religious experience more than a living, vibrant relationship . Eventually, it becomes a monotonous routine where we find ourselves robbed of the joy of living life with Him. 

It is also easy to think that the works that we do are what defines us more than the revelation of who we are in Him and who He is to us.

When reading 1 Samuel 17, we see the prophet Samuel going to the house of Jesse to choose the replacement for King Saul. He sees the sons of Jesse coming before him and he thinks that they are God's choice for King. Note how the Lord responded:

1 Samuel 16:7 (NKJV)

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 

Eventually David, the youngest of Jesse's sons is chosen to be Israel's king, a man who God considered as a man after his own heart (Acts 13:22).

Realize this: that God does not see as man sees. He is far more interested in the condition of the heart than He is in the external appearance or conduct of you and I.

The way in which we maintain the intimacy of our walk with our First Love will determine the quality and direction of the lives we live. I want live out my years full of life and not have a life full of years.

And so, I encourage you: examine the condition of your heart. If it is found wanting, go back to Jesus, your First Love. Maintain a lifestyle of intimacy with the only One who is worthy, and live your life out of that position of intimacy.

Blessings

Ken